Sometimes I wonder?

what happened to this sweet little guy? Ha he learned to talk :)

Sometimes I wonder? Quite honestly wondering might not be the healthiest thing, for me that is. Seems as if wondering brings more of a negative following then a positive one. I absolutely dream of the day when I can call myself a positive Polly but the truth is I'm more of a negative Nelly...sad but true!

I'm sure if we had a time square like in the olden days where the bad people would stand in the middle and the townsfolk would have rocks to throw at you, or you would wear that sweet scarlet letter telling everyone what a horrible person you are...I would fit that for what I'm about to say! But hey I'm all about being honest.

Sometimes in many moments during some days I wonder exactly why am I a mother? I know, I know slap on my scarlet letter!

Its not that I don't absolutely LOVE being a mother its more when I hear at least 15 times a day what a "meanie" "rudie" "worstis" I am I begin to wonder why exactly am I a mother? Little dude is a good kid but man he is going through a tough spout right now. Anything I do that doesn't follow his every wish I turn into the "worstis, meaniest, rudest mama ever" I try not to let a 5 year old rub on me but let's be honest, it does.

In my defense I've started telling him to go find another sweet mama that let's him do whatever he wants and also let's him eat candy all day every day, oh and beat on his helpless sister. One of these days he might just take me up on it. I'll admit its not the best response but man until they start coming with personal "how to do" manuals I'm at a loss.

I am now trying the tactical approach of "use your words". It seems to be working so far but it makes me feel like a mom that's gone to loon town because she is so overwhelmed with her life, which I'm not. But honestly the fake smile and happy upbeat voice I use when saying "use your words little man and let's try not using the word meanie, rudie, or worsetest" I absolutely know I look the part.

Kids are awesome and I really love being a mom, I sure hope I'm not the only one that feels this way from time to time. Here's hoping that using our words works for everyone.