SUCK my New Moon BLOOD BABY!!

Its crazy how nowadays I can say "team Jacob" and people across the world know what I am talking about and will most likely shout back "team Edward". Back before 2005 if I said "team" anything people would think I needed to visit the nut house. Thanks to our lovely friend Stephanie Meyer ladies around the world are asking their blood to be sucked by a pasty sparkle man. I have been quite shocked by the Twilight saga. I had to keep asking if all this twiliotes, twigits, twilinites or whatever it is they call themselves was for real. When everyone around me was swooning and the pool was packed with the newest blood sucking goodness I kept asking if I missed the memo and the book wasn't really about vampires. Vampires...really ladies?

Don't get me wrong I love a good read in fact I totally dig a book I can't put down, it goes with me everywhere and I try to squeeze it in with any free moment. To be fair I've never read the Twilight saga so I can't be completely fair reviewing the books. My assessment of the Twliandian goodness is on the movies alone. Why haven't I read the books you ask? Probably because I'm sure I would possibly get sucked in but mostly because the books I read are previewed by my fantastic sister. She has never led me astray and I have always loved what she suggested. I hate to say it Ladies but my sister gave blood suckers two thumbs down, which is why I myself have never allowed Edward to suck my time.

It wasn't until the movies came out I allowed myself to check out what all the hype was about. First there was Twilight, a pretty cheese ball movie. It was a super low budget film and struggled in so many ways. For example Mr sparkle and the little twiddle diddle when the sun showed his true sparkle. Or let's not forget the "hop on my back and let's run through the forest/train track" bit. Even though it had so many flaws something kept my attention and left me wanting more (embarrassing as it is to admit, I'll come back to what I think it is). I don't think it will ever be in my DVD collection but I didn't put it on my "most terrible movie ever made" list. Still, surprisingly enough it trumped expectations and made a shiz load of cash, thanks to the thousands of twigises around the world who have read this blood sucking goodness.

Then came New Moon (lucky me I have an amazing man friend that allows me to see the movie before it even hits the theaters..I know he's dreamy and not at all pasty), a much higher budget, new director. This movie was set to be much better, maybe a little less cheese. Well its true to expectations in that it has much less cheese, higher budget, and new less cheese ball director. I'll admit that even though I have a hard time buying into the vampire/werewolf deal I actually enjoyed it, shocking I know.

In New Moon team Jacob is pulled into the mix as the "I also love the pouty sad chick named Bella" Werewolf. Edward bails out of "love" leaving Bella turning to Jacob to pull her out of this depressed sadness that is life without the sparkle paste man. He's there for her, helps her, loves her and she definately takes advantage. I think she leads him on people..sorry but I do. Then pasty sparkle almost ends his life because he thinks pouty girl is dead. Don't worry she saves the day and puts werewolf on the back burner. Yet again I found myself pulled in by its powerful portrail of love. (Yikes did I just say that..never thought that line and a vampire movie would go together)

Now my thoughts on why I was somehow sucked in to all this foolishness and why I think women are creating fan clubs, camping out at movie theatres, and secretly hoping for a pasty sparkle man to show up at their door. Everyone keeps saying its because women are remembering their first love and where I'm sure that could be the case for some women/girls I don't think its it.

You ready...I think we are so sucked into this young love because we all secretly want to be loved as much as Bella is....now...not back in Junior High or maybe even grade school for all you hoochies out there...oh I kid. Who wouldn't want the love that sparkle or hairy has for Bella? Its deep, passionate, undying. Ladies, we eat all that mooshy crap up! Everyone keeps asking how a book can create this emotional response in women...hello this is what and all we dream about!

Am I way off base ladies? What are your thoughts on this Twiliadian obsession? Do tell!

Luckily I have my pasty sparkle man already..he is truly amazing...but I promise I don't act like Bella! Sure do die over my man friend....Love you sweets!